Lessons

I recently found a bunch of old journal entries. It makes me realize how up until a point in your life, you are forced to react to a lot of change that is happening all around you. Every year in school something changes. Then you  move out completely for college. Then you leave college and are dropped into the Big Wide Word. You learn new cities. Or remeet your parents. Or deal with loneliness in a new and special way. And then a few years go by and it's like (for me at least) the big external changes have quieted and the big internal changes begin. You start to work on answering the questions: Who am I? And, What do I want to do with this life of mine? You start answering them in ways that you never had to address before b/c you were so busy reacting to another class, another move or another school year.


This is why the wedding is kind of fun from a introspective level. (And we are all Number 1 fans of introspection :) It's the first time in a few years where Z and I are confronting newness. I am discovering things about myself and my parents and yes, even Z, that I didn't know before. Or hadn't been able to verbalize before. The new experience allows for assessment and analysis. You look at old issues from a new angle and suddenly they have edges you didn't see before. It's a unique point in your life and therefor allows unique interactions and lessons.

I like it. Also makes me realize how much kids must teach a couple.

So yeah, this is a little off topic and is really part of a larger blog posting for later but day after day the wedding teaches me something new. A new way of deciding things. A new way of weighing decisions. A new way of thinking about goals and importance. When it's over and the party has been cleared, I'll be curious if some of the lessons travel with us to the next thing. I hope they do.